all about roons

Alright friend... you’re here, running your eyeballs across this screen hoping to find what?

Confirmation that we’re gluten-free and grain-free?  
Done.  Confirmed.  

Want to know if we’re vegan?
Nope, sorry.  Eggs. 

Want to know if we are kosher?
All of our ingredients are kosher, but our kitchen is not certified (yet) so don’t get your panties all in a wad. All in due time...

Wondering how long your Roons can sit out on your countertop before they get stale?
Luckily for you, you have at least two months from the day your Roons were born. We created a magical plastic pouch so that we could keep your Roons fresh and moist without adding preservatives and other yucky stuff to our recipe.  But this is a judgement-free zone, so don’t feel guilty if you eat all your Roons WELL before their 2nd monthiversary!

Information on freezing your Roons?
We don’t recommend eating them frozen (ouch, teeth) but if you aren’t going to eat your Roons before their monthiversary is up, stick them in the freezer as soon as you can. A few months in the deep freeze shouldn’t do too much harm (although we haven’t done any scientific testing on that!).  Just be sure to let them thaw completely before serving them.

What wines pair with Roons?
ALL of them, duh.  We really like bubbles, but that’s how we roll. 

Do you have a store?
Nope. But we do have an amazing commercial kitchen in SE Portland. It's almost the same thing, but without a cash register. 

If I don't want to pay to ship your Roons can we pick them up?
Absoludle, for sure! (Free Roon to anyone who knows what book that comes from and the name of the character who says it!) Pickups are an option in the checkout and we'll be in touch to coordinate a handoff.


Why we got into this business? And who we are as a company?

Well, that’s a little trickier. I have been writing and re-writing this ‘About Us’ page for days and I still don’t really know what I should tell you about that. I want it to be creative and witty and entertaining and personal, but I also want you to know what we’re all about.  

Enter Professor Google. While searching for what to do in order to produce great ‘About Us’ pages, I came across this article from Entrepreneur Magazine called “8 Mistakes Business Owners Make Creating Their ‘About Us’ Page”.

Well, my curiosity was peaked, is yours?  Let’s see how far off the mark I am?

Mistake #1: It’s all about you, you, you.
But it is about me, isn’t it?  Uh-oh, maybe I’m already flunking out of ‘About Us Pages 101’! In a nutshell (I wouldn’t want to blather on) Roons was established in 2010, in a Napa Valley, CA kitchen. It started out as a baking project to pass the day with my very small humans, but turned into an epicurean adventure of epic proportion. To be honest, the kiddos didn’t get to lick any wooden spoons that day (I think they ended up in front of Dora The Explorer) but that’s a small price to pay for finding my passion - and dedicating myself to perfecting these treats for years to come, in order to share them with the world.
 
Mistake #2: No description of your website’s purpose.
Apparently Mistake #1 is making this page too much about you. But Mistake #2 is about not showing off enough?  You want to know why we get out of bed in the morning? Truly, it’s to make the highest quality, most delicious macaroons on the planet. Yes, we are biased, but we are also honest. And good at math. (One of those things is a lie.) We noticed a severe lack of delicious gluten-free treats on the market all those years ago, and it became our mission to create something that tasted amazing (not like cardboard and definitely not overly sugary sweet) and that had a great shelf life (read: the dessert wouldn’t go bad before you finish reading this sentence) and that didn’t have 392 ingredients and that was affordable. Period. In order not to actually make Mistake #2, I should tell you that the specific purpose of this website is to help you buy Roons or sell Roons.  Did I succeed?
 
Mistake #3: There aren’t any visible opt-in forms.
So, if you are a “normal” person you apparently want to opt-in to something while you’re learning about us. Truth? I’m told that without this opt-in form, you will never return. 
How could I do that to you - I know you want to come back and visit. I can already tell.
Feast your eyes on this INCREDIBLE opt-in form.  (copy/repeat opt-in form that usually lives at bottom of page) Check! 

Mistake #4: All plain text without visuals.
So, per this brilliant article, the human brain processes visual images 60,000 faster than text. I wouldn’t want you to have to take the proverbial ‘long way’ to learn how awesome we are.

Mistake #5: Not directing to your most popular pages or products.
Guys, I’m skipping #5. If you want to search this website for ‘popular’ pages and products, have at it. No pressure. It’s like trying to decide which of your kiddos is your favorite… they’re ALL good!  (You have to say that as a parent, but we all know it’s not true!). But with a little encouragement, I could tell you that I hope the most popular page on www.eatroons.com is the “Buy Roons” page.  And I hope the second most popular page on this site is the “Sell Roons” page. Well, maybe I change my mind. I really like doing customized Roons packaging for weddings and corporate gifts or events. So maybe I hope that’s the most popular page.  Can I get back to you when I decide for sure?

Mistake #6: Not leveraging social proof.
We don’t want to brag… but “social proof” is widely available to you, friends, if you look around.  Feast your eyes on our mind-bendingly-amazing BookFace page here or our widely popular Insta page here (read: it will be wildly popular if you go there and share it and do Insta-type-things with it.) Or better yet, watch someone eat a Roon. That’s the only social proof I think you really need.  Smiles, belly-rubbing, happy moaning… usually what happens after one of our treats is consumed.

Mistake #7: Too much information.
I agree.  Short and sweet.  Or, short-ish and very sweet. (Phew, it’s almost over)

Mistake #8: No contact information.
We wouldn’t want to make this costly mistake. What if you want to write us and tell us how much you adore us? Or that we should make a Bacon & Bourbon Roon? Or that we should hire actual writers to write ‘About us’ pages so we can focus on doing what we do best?  All good… please get in touch here.

If you’re still reading you deserve a prize.  Oh wait - you already got one - you’re here, aren’t you?

Thank you, sincerely. We hope you enjoy eating your Roons as much as we love baking them for you.

Jenn Topliff